Monday, January 21, 2019

Charlie B.'s Birth Story

I know this post is well past due. However, finding the time to write Charlie's birth story has proven very difficult while working full time and raising SIX kids. But better late than never, it's finally finished!


Charlie’s Birth Story
By His Mommy

Growing up, I always envisioned having three children. It was the perfect number to me. Even when we were dating in college, Clay and I joked about someday having three bald headed babies of our own, although he said he would be content to just have one (HA!). When we got married on a ridiculously rainy night in September of 2000, Clay and I had no intentions of having an enormous family of six. No way as we stood in front of hundreds of people saying our vows, just babies ourselves at 21 and 22, were we considering a half dozen kids! In hindsight, this ignorance about our future was clearly part of God’s meticulous plan. Otherwise, we both might never have signed up for a life of unrelenting chaos together.

My note to Clay from 1999. 

After a decade of marriage, Clay was sold on the idea of three children and that’s exactly how many boys we had by 2011. But then 19 months after boy number three was born came our girly surprise number four, and two years later sweet number five made her debut. We were thrilled, very crazy, and busy enough that we didn’t have any extra time to consider adding to our herd.
   

Our Herd in 2016
In October of 2016, Clay and I traveled to Cancun. Without any kids to interrupt our conversations or to distract us, we sat on the beach and seriously talked about making a final decision concerning any future kids. We decided that when we got home that Clay would schedule a vasectomy. That was our sincere plan (we meant it for real this time!), but life got hectic when we got back from our vacation, and the appointment reminder collected dust on Clay’s to-do list.

Kidless in Cancun
After our trip, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s flew by with all the family traditions and madness those holidays include. In January, we had a mid-month ER visit for Amelia-Grace, and I was just cautious enough not to follow her back into the room while she received a chest x-ray. 99% unconcerned that I could be preggo again, I nevertheless stood outside in the hospital hallway and made the nurses promise not to tell my mother that there was any chance whatsoever that I might be pregnant. They just laughed and said it wasn’t their story to tell.

By the end of January, I noticed that I was starting to feel a little off with just a hint of nausea during the first half of the day. Coffee, my favorite morning necessity, wasn’t smelling delicious to me anymore, and soon enough my period was missing. My veteran instinct told me that I was pregnant, but my mind yelled, “NO WAY! That boy did NOT do it again.”

In February, this mama of five began to cycle through all the stages of grief. First, total denial. Then, anger, which actually lasted for several weeks. Sitting at work, just stewing in my feelings, I rapid fired texts to Clay in the middle of the day about my pregnancy suspicions. But because he’s known me since he was 15 years old, he’s accustomed to my out-of-nowhere wrath and was wise enough not to be anything but completely supportive.

Those late days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into two months before I grudgingly caved and took a pregnancy test. Staring at those two life-changing, pink lines, I finally arrived at the stage of acceptance. If God thought Clay and I should have six kids, I was not going to argue with Him. Anyone who knows us understands that we are both fiercely pro-life, including when our babies aren’t planned and our bank account isn’t worth boasting about. Once again, we were walking in faith that God would take care of our huge and expanding family.

I made a pregnancy confirmation appointment, and going back to my OB/GYN’s office was like a family reunion with the midwives and nurses I had come to know and love over the last sixteen years. So many sincere congratulations! After catching up and then listening to my baby’s heartbeat, I was now incredibly excited about number six. There really was a baby in my belly, and I was back with my favorite people to help me through the rest of my pregnancy! As I was checking out and making my next appointment, I ran into my most adored midwife, Linda, who had delivered Annalise. She hugged and congratulated me, and I joked that I really wanted to sign her up to deliver number six. My fingers were crossed that she would!

I intended to keep our unexpected number six a secret from everyone for as long as I could, just to avoid the judgement and opinions of people who don’t embrace our big family life style. We’ve learned that the bigger our family gets the more freely people share their views about it. But I was so first trimester miserable, and like with every other pregnancy, my internal monologue quickly disappeared. Out came the fact that I was pregnant to my besties, my co-workers, and to my boss when she passed me in the hall while I was in the midst of a horrible, can’t-fan-myself-fast-enough hot flash.

I’m always most nervous to tell my parents. Every day my friends and co-workers would harass me and ask if I had told my parents yet. One even spotted me at our favorite BBQ restaurant and messaged me, asking if I had broken the news yet while I was at the table with my whole family. I considered sending my parents and in-laws flowers with an announcement attached. I even went so far as to price flowers online, but it didn’t feel right, so I chickened out.

On an early Saturday morning in April, I was over at my parents’ house with my three littles. When I got up off the couch, my father eyed me suspiciously. I had worked hard to conceal my 14 weeks pregnant belly that had started to grow within what felt like ten minutes after conception. However, I had clearly reached my limit of fooling people. My father asked, “Are you late?” To which I replied, “NO…I’m pregnant!”  He yelled to my mother in the kitchen that she was right. My mother burst into a smile and was equal parts “I knew it!” and “I’m so excited!”

Immediately, my mom was ready to tell the three little kids who were with me, and of course, Collin, Amelia-Grace, and Annalise were thrilled when she told them. My kids always love a new addition to the family. That evening, my mom took pictures of Clay and me in her backyard, holding a onesie that said, “Guess what?” Afterwards we went back inside where our two oldest sons, McLain and Keaton, were hanging out. Clay tossed the onesie to them as our way of spreading the news. After the initial shock, they were really excited as well. Later that night, we showed the pictures we had taken to Clay’s mom, and she immediately called his dad and sisters. By baby number six, none of the adults in our family are really shocked anymore.
You're not really pregnant until you're social media official. 
On April 11th, we went social media public, and our fans went wild! I posted: Clay Brooks and I thought that God had called us to raise up 5 children for Him. However, we've learned that He has different plans and that our 6th little blessing will be here in October! #WeCantBelieveItEither #YesWeKnowWhatCausesThis  #CheaperByTheHalfDozen

No more denial. No more secrets. Brooks baby number six was officially on its way and due to arrive October 12th!

In June, I went to my OB/GYN with Clay and my mother. Lying on the exam bed, I watched my baby bounce and move on the monitor. I saw ten perfect fingers, ten tiny toes, a healthy heart, and functioning kidneys, but as the ultrasound tech determined the baby’s sex, I looked away and had Clay and my mom do the same. I didn’t want to know what I was having! Even though at the end of the appointment I was given a DVD with the baby’s gender confirmation on it, I left that DVD unopened on my bedside table until well after the baby’s delivery. We truly wanted to be surprised!

17 Weeks 5 Days
Because this was our sixth baby, we already had everything we could possibly need for a boy OR a girl. Overalls? Check. Enormous bows? Check. Bow ties? Check. Dresses and coordinating bloomers? Check and check. I don’t know why the desire to wait to find out what we were having struck us so strong this time around, but it was exactly what we both wanted, and we had all the baby supplies to roll with this urge. In the third trimester, I had a blue and white striped hat monogrammed with the name Charlie and a pink hat with a white bow monogrammed with Adeline on it. We were completely ready for whomever decided to join our family!

Hats for Charlie or Adeline!

I spent the summer in any pool that I could find: my Mom’s, Tolleson, or White Water. I was swollen and hot and wanted to stay submerged in water as much as possible. In August, I started my new position at work as a phonics coach/EIP kindergarten teacher, which was a perfect fit for this mama, because it required less time on my feet. I was able to prop my enormously swollen feet up or run to our school nurse to have my blood pressure checked as needed.
Cankles
Trying to stay cool at the pool!

On September 10th, Hurricane Irma made its way to the southeast and with it came a big drop in barometric pressure that was felt across Georgia. That day I nested with the girls and Clay. We went to Starbucks and then to Target to buy some pacifiers and Halloween pajamas with a pumpkin hat for the baby. The girls were so excited and continuously asking when the baby was coming. Around 6:45 that evening, contractions started, and after two hours, I started to grow mildly concerned as I was only 35 weeks. At 9:00, I headed to take a bubble bath and stayed in the tub for an hour until my contractions finally spaced out and stopped. I later read about how barometric pressure can impact a pregnant woman. I’m a believer now!

Shopping for Baby #6!
I headed to my 36 week appointment on September 18th, which was the first of my weekly doctor visits. My midwife checked me and shared that I was 2 cm dilated; 50% effaced. I was a little disappointed that I was not more dilated than that, but I also recognized that I had another month before the baby was due.

On October 4th, I went to my weekly scheduled appointment and was surprisingly checked again. Typically, the practice I go to only checks mothers at 36 and 40 weeks unless there is a specific need, because they want to limit the potential for infection. The midwife stated that I was 3 cm dilated; 50% effaced, and I was grateful to know that I had made a little progress since my visit two weeks earlier. That night I nested and cleaned the house, even though it was already clean. I packed and repacked my hospital bags, making sure that I had everything I needed for either Charlie or Adeline. Perhaps I should have paid closer to my intuition as I packed only two girl outfits but four little boy ensembles!

Three days later Clay and I dressed up and went to the Marietta Country Club for dinner with his co-workers to celebrate a successful quarter for their company. We knew that night was likely our last opportunity to go out together before the baby arrived, and our suspicion proved to be correct. 

Last outing before baby #6! 
At 3:10 AM on Monday, October 9th, I started having contractions, which started to get noticeably serious by 4:15. A shower or a bath is my standard test to determine if my labor is the real deal, so I headed to the shower at 5:00. My contractions diminished and completely stopped by the time I finished showering, and I was LIVID. I was sleep deprived, absurdly enormous, swollen from head to toe, riddled with heart burn, and entirely too cranky to be around people. This mama was DONE.

To console myself, I stopped at McDonalds and got a large chocolate McFrappe on the way to work. Eating my feelings was the only way I could survive the day. I fussed and complained about my middle of the night contractions to my co-workers during all of breakfast duty (bless their hearts to have to listen to me vent) and then headed to my assistant principal’s office to borrow her big blue yoga ball. I bounced on it off and on for the rest of the day in a desperate attempt to evict number six!

A very swollen and desperate mama!
Everything was ready at work and home!
Two days later, on Wednesday the 11th, I was still very pregnant at 39 weeks and 6 days.  My weekly appointment was at 2:00, and that day I was introduced to the practice’s newest midwife, Dayna. As she was talking and telling me that she would schedule me for an induction on Friday at 8:00 AM, I pulled up my phone and scrolled through my Facebook albums. I pulled up a picture of Annalise’s delivery and showed it to the midwife, asking “Is this you?” It actually was. We laughed, because she had been my labor and delivery nurse with my fifth baby.

As the midwife was typing an order for my induction, I asked her if she would strip my membranes since I was only one day from my due date. She said, “Absolutely!” I’ve never been induced and preferred not to be if there was a less invasive way to get the labor party started. First, she checked me and made my day by declaring me a good 4, almost 5 cm dilated and 50% effaced, and then she swept my membranes. My body was getting ready on its own, and with her nudge, she said that it wouldn’t be surprising if I didn’t make it to my induction on Friday.

My favorite midwife, Linda, popped in before I left and told me that I would be in good hands with Dayna on Friday, because she had been her mentor. Dayna also shared that my induction would be her first. I was just relieved to have an end to this pregnancy in sight and grateful to have a plan if I didn’t go into labor on my own in the next 42 hours.

After the appointment, I took a moment in my car to just breathe and collect my thoughts. The end really was so close. My baby would be in my arms in the next couple of days. I called Clay and told him the plan, explaining that he needed to take Friday off from work. I called my mom and texted my bosses that I wasn’t coming back to work, as I wanted one day to pray and prepare myself for this baby. I texted my in-laws, my besties, my team mates, and then my supply teacher, letting her know that she could take over my students tomorrow.

After settling all those logistics, I decided I really needed to eat my feelings and do some retail therapy. Who knew when the next time I could shop alone would be? I got a McChicken sandwich meal from McDonalds (apparently this baby was a huge Mickey D’s fan) and then went to Target, buying the baby a yellow pair of pajamas with adorable giraffe feet. After settling my nerves with junk food and shopping, I picked the little boys up from ASP and then went to my Mom’s to hang out and to get the girls. As Amelia-Grace and I lay on my mom’s couch together and took selfies with her head on my belly, I didn’t realize that would be our last time doing so.

My girl snuggling with her baby!
Such a busy afternoon had worn me out, so we headed home, and I went to bed fairly early, relieved to know that I had a confirmed end for this pregnancy. Two more days tops. Watching TV, I fell asleep just past 9:00 PM, but at 12:15 AM, a contraction woke me up. As I laid there quietly in the dark, more followed, and I became uncomfortable. Like with all my previous labors, I spent the first part of this one wondering, hoping, and praying that these contractions were the real thing. Monday’s contractions had been a tease, and I wasn’t certain that these pains wouldn’t prove to be the same. After an hour passed with my tracking them on a contraction app, I woke up Clay and then texted my mom that I’d been contracting for an hour. I decided to take a shower to see if they stopped or (fingers crossed) kept going. My mom said to let her know!

As I showered, the contractions continued. They weren’t consistent, but they were becoming increasingly longer and stronger. I got out of the shower, and as I dried off, I started suspecting that these contractions were early labor. Still praying that they were, I put on my favorite Mama Bird shirt, applied my makeup, and dried my hair. After making sure that Clay was getting ready too, I stood in my bathroom flat ironing my hair, having to pause as contractions wrapped around my belly. Using my app, I tracked them, verifying that the contractions still weren’t like clockwork. However, they kept coming no matter what I was doing and were lasting at least a minute each. After two hours, I no longer had reason to believe that I was being teased with false labor.

2:35 AM and ready to head to to hospital!
With Keaton’s traumatic, unintentionally natural, four hour labor in my mind, I decided it would be foolish to stay home and risk missing my epidural again. I texted my mom, and Clay texted his parents as he started loading my bags into the van. Then I gathered my purse and our phone chargers. It was definitely time to go to the hospital. These contractions weren’t stopping.

Standing in the middle of my kitchen, I was very much aware how different our life would be next time I stood in it. Bringing a new person into our family very much changes it but in the most amazing way. Clay took one last picture of me and my enormous belly, and we took a selfie, reminding us of when we did that with an old-fashioned, real camera when I was in early labor with our first baby 16 years earlier. 

Last selfie before heading to the hospital to meet #6!
And because that baby was now a practically grown teenager, we left him in charge as we headed to the hospital at 2:40 AM. We later found out McLain had no memory of being woken up by his father or being told to listen out for his brothers and his sisters until his grandparents arrived. Thankfully, he and all his siblings didn’t stir as it was the middle of the night.

Clay drove us to the hospital and dropped me off at entrance of the Women’s Center while he parked the van. As I signed myself into triage, an older lady was standing at the counter fussing to the staff, because she had been asked to leave the labor room. She vented that all she did was ask a nurse about paternity testing for the baby in front of her son’s laboring girlfriend. My jaw almost hit the floor and only my continued contractions kept me from explaining to her how ridiculous she was for asking such a question. Timing is everything!

Clay joined me as I was assigned a triage room. In between contractions, he helped me change into my pink gown and climb up on the bed. My vitals were checked, and I was placed on a contraction monitor, which verified that I indeed was contracting regularly. We could see the continuous peaks and valleys roll across the screen. To my relief, my favorite midwife was on call. At 3:05 AM, Linda checked me and determined I was 5 cm. This was real labor, and she said that I wasn’t going anywhere until after my baby arrived.

As I laid on my side in the triage bed, Clay sat in the chair next to me, texting and updating our family. My contractions were increasing in intensity and were triggered anytime I shifted my position, so I tried not to move. I was feeling panicky and ready for my epidural. The order for one had been placed, but first I needed my IV and to be moved out of triage. At 3:45, my nurse came in to give me my IV, but just as she was about to start the process, I was hit with a horrible contraction, one strong enough that made it impossible not to curse. My nurse waited for the contraction to pass, quickly placed my IV, helped me into a wheelchair, and then pushed me down the hall to a labor and delivery room.

After I was moved to my L&D room at 4:00 AM, Clay and I settled in, took and posted a quick selfie, and turned the lights low, because it was still the middle of the night. The hospital was unusually quiet. My contractions continued and were bad enough that I couldn’t talk through them anymore, except to curse. Because moving triggered them and I was trying to remain perfectly still, I started having terrible back spasms that were difficult to tell apart from the contractions. I was trying not to freak out, but I was in a miserable amount of pain, very aware of how quickly this labor was getting worse, and well past ready for my epidural.

This mama was hurting and ready for an epidural!
At 4:45, almost two hours after I got to the hospital, my anesthesiologist finally arrived. (Where was he? Coffee break??) I tried to sit up when he walked towards my bed, but rising up immediately caused a back spasm which triggered a fierce contraction. I was trapped in an inescapable hell. As he set up his tools, the anesthesiologist tried to ask me several questions, but I couldn’t focus on his words through the pain. He kept going, even though I was unable to answer. 

Knowing the drill, I managed to get upright and tried to sit entirely still as I curled forward over a pillow and gripped Clay’s hands as the doctor prepped my back for the epidural. I had a brief moment when I was neither having a back spasm nor a contraction, so the doctor was lightning fast as he inserted the needle in my spine. But his quickness felt like he was slamming me in the back with a board while at the same time electrocuting me with hot currents that shot from my back, down my hips, to my thighs. I’ve never yelled out before when I got an epidural. Yet, in that moment there was no restraining myself. I’m sure I sounded crazy, but being in so much pain, I didn’t care what anyone else thought.

After all that agony came sweet relief from the contractions and muscle spasms as the epidural immediately began to take effect. I laid back in the bed, finally relaxing for the first time after four and half hours of relentless contractions. Clay warned both my nurse and the doctor of my history with plummeting blood pressure after receiving an epidural, having dropped to 45/22 with my third baby. As I closed my eyes and was overwhelmed with exhaustion, I could feel my blood pressure dropping but didn’t care at all as long as the pain didn’t return.

Because my nurse and doctor had been warned, they were watching my monitor closely. As my blood pressure almost immediately plunged to 70/something, I was given one bolus of ephedrine in my IV. The doctor instructed my nurse to watch me closely, and if it didn’t rise in a few minutes, that she should administer a second bolus as a shot. The anesthesiologist left, and Clay and the nurse hovered over me, continuously checking my blood pressure. I was aware of what was happening but still feeling bad enough that I didn’t have the mental capacity to worry about my well-being or the baby’s. When my blood pressure did not rise after several minutes passed, the nurse gave me a second bolus of ephedrine in a shot, which left a huge bruise on my hip that I discovered the next day. In hindsight, I’m grateful that I couldn’t feel the shot because of my epidural.
He's gotten really good at taking care of me after all these labors. 
The nurse turned off my overhead light at 5:15, and I laid in the dark with Clay nearby and her quietly attending to me. Just as my blood pressure was normalizing, and I was almost drifting off to sleep, the room echoed with a pop that could be heard through my fetal monitor.  I roused up enough to share that I thought that either I peed myself or that my water had just broken. My nurse checked me and said that my water had indeed broken and that I was also 6 cm. At this point, I gave up trying to sleep and briefly hoped that I would be able to nap at some point after the baby arrived.

After all the contraction, muscle spasm, and epidural drama, I resigned myself to stay awake and was ready for family visitors, finally feeling pain free and back to normal. My parents, who had been anxiously waiting downstairs for quite some time, came in and took pictures with me, excited that their sixth grandbaby was on its way. Alex, my little brother, also popped in and took pictures while making silly jokes. Clay and I took a moment to just hold hands and breathe. It had been a very tough few hours, filled with much more intense pain than either of us had anticipated.

My best cheerleaders!

Little brothers are always great for making you laugh. 

Taking a moment to breathe before delivery. 
Less than an hour later at 6:10, I started feeling contractions in my birth canal but not across my belly. This is not unusual for me as I typically have breakthrough contractions when I reach 7-8 cm. Trying not to panic but also not willing to feel any more pain during this labor, I immediately hit my nurse call button and asked for the anesthesiologist. Hearing my call at the nurse’s station, my midwife Linda stopped by and checked my dilation. She said I was at 10 cm (I had progressed from 6-10 cm in 55 minutes!), but the baby’s head was still high. She was very nonchalant and said that we had time to wait for it to descend and that she would page the anesthesiologist.

At 6:22, a different anesthesiologist arrived and gave me an epidural bolus, and the contractions subsided again. She explained that the reason I could feel the break through contractions was because I was dilating faster than the epidural could keep up with. That made complete sense! I was just grateful that no one tried to convince me to try to labor further without a fully functioning epidural.

Clay texted his mother, and my mom followed his text with a phone call to her, urging her to come to the hospital ASAP. Mimi was at my house, which is only 2.2 miles away from the hospital, with our five kids and my niece and nephew. My mom told her to hurry, so she wouldn’t miss the baby’s birth! Mimi was worried that if she left Pop Pop with all seven grandkids that he would be late to work at 8:00. I assured her that I would have the baby before then!

With my newly topped off epidural, I was thoroughly numb from the waist down and able to rest quietly again. While I waited for my mother-in-law to arrive, I texted my besties, team mates, and bosses that I was at 10 cm. Because I knew we would be taking a lot of pictures soon, I reapplied my lip gloss. My nurse laughed and asked, “Are you really putting on lip gloss right now?” I told her those newborn pics are around forever, and I didn’t want to look a hot mess.  

Mimi got to the hospital at 7:20 and said that the nurse had mentioned someone would need to trade places with her, since my room was already full with Clay, my parents, and my brother. My dad and Alex wished me “Good luck!” and headed to the waiting room while my mom and Clay stayed with me. Mimi sat down in the rocking chair, relieved that she had made it to the hospital with time to spare. My support team was ready.

A very few minutes later my midwife walked in, flipped on the overhead lights, and said it was time to push, even though she hadn’t checked to see if the baby’s head had made its descent. At first, I found that kind of odd, but I later realized her shift was over at 8:00, and she knew how much I wanted her to deliver this baby. Linda was my most adored midwife, because she was a schemer, and she did not disappoint me on this day!

As I was prepped for delivery and my midwife pulled on her paper gown and gloves, I made my only delivery request: I wanted to announce what the baby was upon its arrival. The moment I had been waiting 40 weeks for was finally here, and I wanted to declare whether Charles Clay or Adeline Charlotte had officially joined our herd. Everyone agreed to let me make the announcement as they took their places around me, my mom to my right, Clay and his mother to my left, and my midwife at the foot of my bed.

Having been up almost all night, I was exhausted and more than a little irritable. However, I was also excited and incredibly ready to meet my baby. I recognized that only a handful of pushes were preventing me from meeting him or her. All I could think was “Who am I going to meet today, Charlie or Adeline?”

With direction to start pushing from my midwife, I took a deep breath, pulled back on my completely numb legs, and pushed as hard as I could. My first push was met with encouraging words from Linda. I pushed again and again and again, trying not to grow frustrated that the baby’s head was slow to rotate and descend. Again, my midwife cheered me on and said that she could see the baby and its head of dark hair. Those words were exactly what I needed to hear. After 19 minutes of pushing, I took my deepest breath, tucked my chin into my chest, and pushed with all the strength I had left. At 7:49 AM, a beautiful, crying Brooks number six burst into my world. The midwife held my baby up for me to see and asked me what it was. I shouted, “It’s a boy, and he’s covered in poop!” What a naughty Brooks boy already!

On Thursday, October 12th after seven and a half intense hours of labor, Charles Clay Brooks was born on his due date, weighing 9 lbs 3 oz and measuring 21 ½ inches long. Charlie was huge and precious and immediately stole the hearts of his mommy, daddy, and grandmothers. As I cried and looked into my baby’s sweet, chubby face, I couldn’t believe he was finally here and lying on my chest. A year ago, Clay and I would never have imagined receiving a gift from God as sweet as Charlie, but even just minutes old, we couldn’t imagine our life without him.

When we were dating, Clay and I thought that three was the ideal number of kids. We were so wrong! I’m incredibly grateful that God has shown us that six children is actually the perfect amount of children for us…to fiercely love, to snuggle, to giggle with, to chase, and to raise for Him and His kingdom. Welcome to the Brooks family, Charlie B.! You are a perfect fit.  















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